


unwhispered words are poison

by 5674l



Series: in the mud or moonlight, I know you [9]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Feelings, Insomnia, M/M, ada's cameo is a brief on the phone kind of thing, no one is gonna talk about them, this is... neither fluff nor angst but it is a precursor to both
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 17:33:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30059040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5674l/pseuds/5674l
Summary: In which people lose some sleep, phone calls are made and people say everything but also nothing.(Part of a larger AU but you can read it as a standalone.)
Relationships: Tommy Shelby/Alfie Solomons
Series: in the mud or moonlight, I know you [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137518
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	unwhispered words are poison

**Author's Note:**

> Once again I have exercised approximately zero restraint with posting, oops.

It was night when the phone wrong, disturbing what Tommy could only describe as peace. 

Alfie had been asleep, slightly turned to his side. He hadn’t been making any sound. It was unnerving.

Tommy hadn’t been able to sleep. He couldn’t hear the shovels though he was sure they’d come creeping back like one of the omens his mother used to tell him about. Maybe when he went home. Didn’t matter.

He was stood at the window, and turned away from Alfie to look outside of it. London was quiet like this. Outside of Alfie’s house. 

He’d been looking at the moon, feeling some odd sense of remembrance. That was when the phone had rang.

Alfie stirred immediately, for all the sound was muffled through walls, and Tommy was set on edge. Didn’t have a cigarette to settle him because Alfie was fucking, he didn’t know, very _aware_ of these things, and if he smoked, Alfie would have woken up, to complain. Who the fuck was calling?

“Who, right, who the fuck is calling?”

“Go back to sleep Alfie, I’ll go and hang it up.”

“Mate, s’my house, you can’t be speaking to anyone at this fucking hour from my house, can you? No, exactly, so I’ll just-”

“Alfie, I’m going to go hang it up, won’t say anything, I’ll just listen. Just go back to fucking bed.”

“That’s a bit fucking hypocritical, even for you mate, ain’t it? I’m in bed which leads me to my fucking question as to why exactly you’re out of it.”

Alfie was properly awake now, sitting up slightly and looking slightly mad. Insane. The light from the moon outside left half his face lit. He looked… beautiful. Fuck.

“You going off in your head even now, sweetie?” 

“No, Alfie, s’just… this is just one of those nights. I can’t sleep. I couldn’t sleep.”

“This is something that happens often, then?”

There was a pause. He really didn’t want to be telling Alfie about this shit. The phone had stopped ringing and now it was back at it again. Fucking nuisance.

“It’s uh, it hasn’t happened with you before.”

“What do you mean, Tommy?”

“It hasn’t happened here at your house, me getting up in the middle of the night, but it has happened before. I don’t know about often but-”

“Right.”

“Mm.”

Alfie looked at him with a degree of scrutiny that Tommy found very fucking uncomfortable, which is a shame because he’d just managed to find Alfie looking at him bearable. 

“What changed then, sweetie, to have you up at this ungodly fucking hour of your or your mind’s own volition, in my house, if it hasn’t happened before?”

“I don’t know. Look, I’m gonna go get the phone.”

Alfie was still staring at him, and Tommy waited it out for a bit. Didn’t know what he was waiting for. Better not have been permission.

“Right, well, don’t let me stop you, mate.” Alfie dropped his stare and closed his eyes, leaning back again, this time turning to his other side, facing away from him. Tommy tried to ignore the drop in his stomach. Alfie wasn’t going to let this fucking go.

-

The other voice on the phone was deadly silent when he picked it up. Part of him was curious. Maybe it was someone from the bakery to say it had gone up in flames. Maybe that’d be cause enough to make Alfie forget about his sleeping.

“I’m really sorry, but is Tommy there?”

“Ada?” What the fuck was she doing calling here? How did she even have the number?

“Tommy? Oh thank God, I’ve been trying to reach you everywhere-”

“Ada, why the fuck are you calling?”

“It’s Grace, she’s giving birth, she wants you there.”

“Grace spoke to me this morning, Ada. She said she doesn’t. Clive’s there too, s’not fucking happening, I can’t go.”

“Tommy, she said she wants you there, I promise.”

“And I’m telling you that whatever she thinks she wants is probably the result of the fucking pain she feels, you’ve given birth, Ada, can’t have been fucking easy, so just-”

“Clive might not be there, those type of men never fucking go to their wife’s side-”

“What, rich men? Ada now isn’t the time for your fucking politics-”

“You fucking agree with me on most of it so don’t fucking argue-“

“Ada-”

“I’m telling you that you have to go to her fucking side because it’s what you _should_ be doing-”

“What _fucking_ good would that do, Ada, eh? How much good did that do fucking Freddie, eh?”

“Don’t you _dare_ bring him into this-”

“She’s the one who turned him in! Because, irrespective of fucking, what her heart says, or some other bullshit, she is different to us. Different class. You should know about that.”

“Fuck you, Tommy. I know this isn’t because of that, you’ve forgiven her before. She spoke to you this morning then, yeah? What else did she say, because I’ve got to think she said something otherwise you wouldn’t be talking like this to _me_.”

He took a breath, bracing his hand on the wall.

“She told me that I’m not allowed to see the baby. Ever. Not if she’s got her fucking husband. S’my fucking baby I just-”

“Tommy-”

“No, Ada just… thank you for telling me, yeah? Thank you. And I, I’m sorry, alright? Shouldn’t have brought up Freddie.”

“No, you fucking shouldn’t have.”

“I know, I know. Did she uh, did she say about how it’s, how the birth is passing or…”

“She said nothing to me but, it didn’t seem bad. I’ll see you soon. Give my regards to Solomons.”

“Ada-”

She hung up. Tommy just looked at the phone with something close to anger, but he couldn’t fucking break it or anything, it wasn’t his. Just carefully put it down and braced his hands against the table it was on. “Fuck.”

-

“Everything alright then?”

Tommy closed the bedroom door shut behind him and leaned against it.

“Thought you went back to sleep, Alfie.”

“And I thought you weren’t gonna talk to the person on the fucking line but here I am with my eyes open having heard you fucking shouting, mate.”

Right. “It was Ada, Alfie. My sister.”

“I know who she is.”

“Yeah, why’s she got the number for this place, then?”

Alfie looked at him with a bored expression. “She asked.”

“And you gave it to her.”

“No reason not to. What was she calling about then?”

“None of your fucking business.”

Alfie’s eyes narrowed.

“Come here for me, Tommy.”

He didn’t want to listen.

“Mm, thank you for listening, yeah?” There was no reason for Alfie to be so fucking patronising, but he knew it was specifically to piss him off. Bastard.

He stood near the side of the bed with Alfie still hunched over on it. He looked like an animal.

“You not gonna tell me what that was about?”

“No.”

“You apologise to your sister for being a cunt?”

Tommy glared at him, and noticed the slight glee that passed behind Alfie’s eyes at getting to act like this.

“Yes.”

“Well done, sweetie. Good of you, innit?” Alfie stroked Tommy’s face and he tried not to slap his hand away. “Get on the bed.”

Tommy didn’t know where this was going, he was going to get on the bed anyways, but now Alfie had ordered him to his mind was telling him to revolt. Didn’t want to ask about it, though, because Alfie would say shit worse than whatever he was about to do.

“There we go. Bit fucking tense though, yeah?”

Alfie looked at him, briefly, the two of them sat side by side, and then he stroked his cheek gently, leaning in to kiss it before drawing back again. It was gentle and it made Tommy burn.

“Right. Lean back against the bed for me. Lie down.”

He didn’t want to listen. Didn’t even know why Alfie was in this mood.

“Gotta tell you what to do more often, don’t I? You look beautiful like this.”

Tommy was laying down and felt something like rage run through him. Wasn’t going to get up though.

“What, laying down? Hardly the first time.”

“You’re right that it’s not the first time, sweetie,” Alfie grinned and pushed his legs up and apart to move in between them and loomed over Tommy, his knees digging into the space either side of him and moving Tommy’s legs to wrap around his waist, “I just meant you being so easy for it.”

Tommy would’ve hit him but Alfie gripped his hands. Didn’t pin them to the bed or anything, just held them both in his own. He didn’t have his rings on, for fucking once, which felt strange, didn’t feel like Alfie, but then there were the fucking crown tattoos on either hand to pull him back into reality. He was letting Alfie Solomons hold him down.

“Alfie, you can’t just fucking say that.” His voice was quiet. Not fucking assertive. Definitely not assertive _enough_.

“Just did, didn’t I? M’sorry though, sweetie, didn’t mean to offend you.” Alfie was quiet too though. He gripped his hands slightly harder and brought them both up to his face. He kissed one.

“Alfie, what the fuck are you doing?”

“Exactly what it looks like.” 

Alfie leaned in and pressed his forehead against Tommy’s.

Tommy had one blinding moment where he wondered how exactly he was supposed to go back to business as normal with Alfie after this. They’d been at this for ages, yeah, and he’d been at Alfie’s office before as well after the fact but now, whenever Alfie looked at him, it might be impossible to forget how reverent he could be. How soft. It should’ve registered before, and it should be a point in Tommy’s favour. But it isn’t, because he’s never felt so lost for control.

“Alfie.”

“So you don’t sleep.”

That’s what this shit was about?

“S’the fucking war, Alfie. It’s not as bad as it was. Now let me go.”

“And how bad was it before?”

Tommy was going to need Alfie to stop, and fucking soon. He didn’t need to look like he cared.

“None of your business.”

“Actually it is, mate, it is, because this is my fucking house, and it is in my house that you have chosen to wake up like this. Pride myself on giving every guest here a good time and I cannot have you fucking my perfect record.”

“You get a lot of guests then?”

“Absolutely, sweetie, many come to marvel at my prowess with hosting people and giving them a good time.”

“So this isn’t just a service for me?”

“Afraid not, but, and this is a secret between you and me,” Alfie tilted his head and Tommy could feel his breath on his lips, “You are my favourite.”

Tommy tried not to smile at that, but evidently Alfie noticed something because he started grinning. 

Tommy tilted his head up slightly. It was all he could move with the rest of him pinned.

“Tsk, tsk,” Alfie pulled away but Tommy didn’t miss the way his eyes darted to his lips. “You didn’t answer my question. Any of them.”

He knew Alfie wouldn’t let it go, just didn’t realise he’d get confronted whilst pinned to his fucking bed.

“What question?”

“How bad was it before?”

“Why does that matter, eh? It’s in the past, all of it. Just, there were memories of the war, what happened, they still come sometimes but less than before. Nothing I can’t deal with.”

“I’m not doubting your ability to push your problems away, Tommy, even a blind man could see you have a mastery for ignoring your fucking conditions whilst they fester inside of you, but grant me the fucking privilege, or the burden, of knowing what exactly goes on in your head so that I can worry about it _for_ you, yeah? S’all I ask.”

“I shouldn’t be here.”

He hadn’t expected that to come out. Alfie didn’t seem surprised though, his eyes didn’t fucking waver, his hands still clung to Tommy’s, his knees still sunk into the bed, looking at him for all the world like he was an open fucking book when Tommy was certain he’d built enough walls so that no one could see over them.

“No? Then go.”

Alfie wasn’t serious. He wasn’t. He couldn’t have been. Tommy was still in his grip, couldn’t move if he wanted to, but then Alfie actually loosened his grip, let his arms go and Tommy was at a loss for what to do with them.

“I shouldn’t be here-”

“Heard you the first time.”

“But it doesn’t mean I’m going to go.”

“That right?”

“Yeah.”

Tommy waited for Alfie to do something after that. Alfie braced a hand on either side of his head and Tommy reached up to pull him in by wrapping each arm around his neck.

“Were you really gonna let me go, Alfie?”

Alfie opened his mouth to say something and then just sighed heavily. “No.”

It was the clearest answer he’d ever gotten from him. Tommy didn’t know what to do with it.

“Wanna know something, Tommy?”

“No.”

“Gonna tell you anyway.” Alfie looked him directly in the eyes and Tommy could feel the pace pick up in his chest. It was a sound like thunder. “I hate you, Tommy. Fucking despise you. You’re gonna be the ruin of me.” He ended his sentence by leaning down but Tommy gripped his face to hold him, just for a moment, away from him. 

_You might be the ruin of me too._

“I hate you too, Alfie. Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Alfie hummed at that.

Tommy let him go, and a moment of silence passed between them. Tommy’s eyes darted briefly to Alfie’s lips and the two crashed into each other, and all gentleness was lost.

If their eyes had softened before, no one needed to know.

**Author's Note:**

> I... don't know. More idiocy to come one day.


End file.
